he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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