He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
