why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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