i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
