...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
