I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
