with your own penis?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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