Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
