Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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