And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She's JV to your varsity
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
