Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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