Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
