i just identified you from a description of your pipe
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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