One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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