My nipple is on Facebook.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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