Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
