i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
