brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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