her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
