Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
