It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
