Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
pop tarts are not kleenex
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
