how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
