Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
