I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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