I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
