Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
