i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
