Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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