Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
