We're like a lot better than the average bears
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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