I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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