Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You did what with his pubic hair?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
