I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She told me I should be a condom model.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
