I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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