tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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