You smell like stripper and shame
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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