Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
