Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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