alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
