I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
