I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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