I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
