Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
