Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
