i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
