i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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