gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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