My first STD was from a foam party
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
