i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Drake has all the answers
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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