What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
